where rainbow ends

am so~~ afraid dat i going to waste years of my life
waiting for d right man
when i actually knows rite from beginning who it wud be

alamak,kena jilat ludah balik ker
but he keeps running back to me
not him literally
d memories of him

benci...benci...

s.u.p.e.r.n.a.t.u.r.a.l

sigh.......
its not done yet
its just started

Berkasih-kasihan

Sakit kepala.....
Ragam yg tgh bercinta satu hal
Tu xpe lg
Confirm dua2 bujang
Ni yg masing2 dh kawin pun bley main cinta dpn sume org nih
Sungguh aku sakit kepala

And pls......
Do not think dat im ok wif all that thing
It is not ok
Not at all

People who knew me might thought
dat i will do just like wat others are doing when they are in luv
not something extreme.
Just something dat they might think ordinary
Such as holding hand or asking permission from d other half to make a decision or even to go somewhere
Alas, itis not something dat i do/did

tapi hana masih lagi seperti kebanyakan manusia lain,
yang sedar akan perkara2 jahat/lagha,
namun masih jugak melakukannya.
Watching movies or even went out with a guy
selalu sakit kepala melihat aksi2 pasangan remaja muslim didalam train
And im so ashame wif myself kerana tidak cukup berani menegur sesama saudara.
Phrase such as ‘aku pun bukanlah baik mana’ selalu menyekat niat
Selalunya kalangan mereka ni memakai tudung.
Where i describe it as their way of life
Bukan setakat niat berfesyen2
Si manis menawan berpasangan dengan jejaka which i conclude as memakai baju ‘ntah hape-hape’ bersama muka yang tiada serinya.
People says don’t judge a book by it’s cover.
Tapi, when we do not know any single thing about a person
bukankah penampilannya lah yang dapat kita nilaikan for our first judgement
so, don’t use that words to get my respect

Sungguh memalukan untuk seorang yang bertudung memalukan perkara seperti itu.
mencemarkan nama perempuan muslim secara keseluruhannya.

And who am i to judge others
Tapi jgn la sampai mcm tu sgt
I always thought those tak pakai tudung, mempunyai etika yang lebih baik berbanding yang memakainya.
Wat im trying to say, biar apapun, dorg seharusnya menjaga maruah mereka.

Pernah jugak tegur2 seorang kawan yang kerap membuat aksi2 kurang enak bersama kekasih hatinya. Dah la tu, dia terang2 mengaku dia sudah lama berkahwin, hanya nikah yang belum. And wat i got back... ‘kau tak jumpa lagi guy yang betul2 captured ur heart, boleh la ko cakap macam tu’. Benar saya tidak menjumpai Mr Right saya lagi, tp boleh ke itu dijadkn alasan!?sakit kapala.

Its not like ive never been in luv
And yes it wif someone whom i didnt love dearly
Since i was interested to another guy
Oh tidak....I owe an apology to him. Mampus mana aku nak cari dia.
That is why I agreed that relationship between boys and girls will only ended up in 2 ways.
Either marriage or break up.
Ooo....3 actually, death is another one.
But then, what goes around comes around.
I didn’t even manage to get the other guy.
Call me stupid, foolish or sumethin i cudn’t spell. I knew all along that i’m the one to blame.
Maybe next time when I meet him, I cud simply say ‘I am truely deeply terribly sorry’ and be fren again.
Or, im might not be able to even look into his eyes. Or...it might turn out that im the one who going after him that time. Hahahaha...enough saying.

Bottom line, it really pissed me off when a guy thought that he cud simply hold my hand on the first date.
tak kira la date nombor brape pun!!!I remember that I asked a guy in anger what have i done that made he think he cud hold my hand!!!!
duh.....mode marah ok masa tu.

Ya Allah semoga semua ni jd peringatan untuk hana
berdoa untuk semua orang agar tidak akan suka2 bersentuhan dengan orang yang bukan mahramnya. Dan yang telah pun melakukannya, semoga tidak akan melakukannya lagi. Amin.....

p/s: teringat ckp dayah, manusia yang berzina, di hari kiamat nanti, akan ada satu tanda hitam di badannya. Tidak kira dia sudah bertaubat atau belum. Jadi, utk mengelakkan zina, jauhilah perkara2 yang akan mengakibatkan zina (peringatan utk diri sendiri)

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have medium extroversion. You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party. Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences. But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time." Conscientiousness: You have high conscientiousness. Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life. Most things in your life are organized and planned well. But you borderline on being a total perfectionist. Agreeableness: You have low agreeableness. Your self interest comes first, and others come later, if at all. In general, you feel that people are not to be trusted. And you're skeptical that anyone else really feels differently. Neuroticism: You have high neuroticism. It's easy for you to feel shaken, worried, or depressed. You often worry, and your worries prevent you from living life fully. You tend to be emotionally reactive and moody. Your either flying very high or feeling very low. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is high. In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas. You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits. A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

The Five Factor Personality Test

obsesi

hana ade satu idea giler
which im so~ determined to do it few hours ago
tp dah takut nak buat skrg
seriously,
i have nothing to loose
as a matter of fact i get my peace of mine
and decide (on other subject)

but i have too much pride to be taken care of
uwaaa.......

yeay!!!

dayah dah confirm dpt tempat kat heriot watt
its a hepi news
tiba2
i found my goal
my short term goal

i have been more certain
wif my ambition
i want to give myself 1 1/2 yr
if i didnt make it
then i want to give myself a big~ present
heehe...
so, buat mase skarg, bersabar la dgn hadiah yg x seberp saja ni
but, tak bermksd hn nk putus asa kalo x berjaya
i do have my contingency plan

jd, hn akan bermula dari skrg
bukan x bersyukur dgn ape yg ada

but my aim...
cuma , start from beginning
hn tau, hn x nak stick dgn keje ni selama2nye
nak jgk achieve 'that' aim

p/s:honestly,i like my own self when i am certain about sumthin ;p

went to clinic this afternoon
got a high blood pressure
slightly high actually
140/93
doctor siap tanye lagi..
"how old are u hah?"
"muda2 lagi dh high blood pressure"
ahaks
went there for sore throat remedy
but turned out got 2 bad news
tambah2 sakit kepala aku~~