Berkasih-kasihan

Sakit kepala.....
Ragam yg tgh bercinta satu hal
Tu xpe lg
Confirm dua2 bujang
Ni yg masing2 dh kawin pun bley main cinta dpn sume org nih
Sungguh aku sakit kepala

And pls......
Do not think dat im ok wif all that thing
It is not ok
Not at all

People who knew me might thought
dat i will do just like wat others are doing when they are in luv
not something extreme.
Just something dat they might think ordinary
Such as holding hand or asking permission from d other half to make a decision or even to go somewhere
Alas, itis not something dat i do/did

tapi hana masih lagi seperti kebanyakan manusia lain,
yang sedar akan perkara2 jahat/lagha,
namun masih jugak melakukannya.
Watching movies or even went out with a guy
selalu sakit kepala melihat aksi2 pasangan remaja muslim didalam train
And im so ashame wif myself kerana tidak cukup berani menegur sesama saudara.
Phrase such as ‘aku pun bukanlah baik mana’ selalu menyekat niat
Selalunya kalangan mereka ni memakai tudung.
Where i describe it as their way of life
Bukan setakat niat berfesyen2
Si manis menawan berpasangan dengan jejaka which i conclude as memakai baju ‘ntah hape-hape’ bersama muka yang tiada serinya.
People says don’t judge a book by it’s cover.
Tapi, when we do not know any single thing about a person
bukankah penampilannya lah yang dapat kita nilaikan for our first judgement
so, don’t use that words to get my respect

Sungguh memalukan untuk seorang yang bertudung memalukan perkara seperti itu.
mencemarkan nama perempuan muslim secara keseluruhannya.

And who am i to judge others
Tapi jgn la sampai mcm tu sgt
I always thought those tak pakai tudung, mempunyai etika yang lebih baik berbanding yang memakainya.
Wat im trying to say, biar apapun, dorg seharusnya menjaga maruah mereka.

Pernah jugak tegur2 seorang kawan yang kerap membuat aksi2 kurang enak bersama kekasih hatinya. Dah la tu, dia terang2 mengaku dia sudah lama berkahwin, hanya nikah yang belum. And wat i got back... ‘kau tak jumpa lagi guy yang betul2 captured ur heart, boleh la ko cakap macam tu’. Benar saya tidak menjumpai Mr Right saya lagi, tp boleh ke itu dijadkn alasan!?sakit kapala.

Its not like ive never been in luv
And yes it wif someone whom i didnt love dearly
Since i was interested to another guy
Oh tidak....I owe an apology to him. Mampus mana aku nak cari dia.
That is why I agreed that relationship between boys and girls will only ended up in 2 ways.
Either marriage or break up.
Ooo....3 actually, death is another one.
But then, what goes around comes around.
I didn’t even manage to get the other guy.
Call me stupid, foolish or sumethin i cudn’t spell. I knew all along that i’m the one to blame.
Maybe next time when I meet him, I cud simply say ‘I am truely deeply terribly sorry’ and be fren again.
Or, im might not be able to even look into his eyes. Or...it might turn out that im the one who going after him that time. Hahahaha...enough saying.

Bottom line, it really pissed me off when a guy thought that he cud simply hold my hand on the first date.
tak kira la date nombor brape pun!!!I remember that I asked a guy in anger what have i done that made he think he cud hold my hand!!!!
duh.....mode marah ok masa tu.

Ya Allah semoga semua ni jd peringatan untuk hana
berdoa untuk semua orang agar tidak akan suka2 bersentuhan dengan orang yang bukan mahramnya. Dan yang telah pun melakukannya, semoga tidak akan melakukannya lagi. Amin.....

p/s: teringat ckp dayah, manusia yang berzina, di hari kiamat nanti, akan ada satu tanda hitam di badannya. Tidak kira dia sudah bertaubat atau belum. Jadi, utk mengelakkan zina, jauhilah perkara2 yang akan mengakibatkan zina (peringatan utk diri sendiri)

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have medium extroversion. You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party. Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences. But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time." Conscientiousness: You have high conscientiousness. Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life. Most things in your life are organized and planned well. But you borderline on being a total perfectionist. Agreeableness: You have low agreeableness. Your self interest comes first, and others come later, if at all. In general, you feel that people are not to be trusted. And you're skeptical that anyone else really feels differently. Neuroticism: You have high neuroticism. It's easy for you to feel shaken, worried, or depressed. You often worry, and your worries prevent you from living life fully. You tend to be emotionally reactive and moody. Your either flying very high or feeling very low. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is high. In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas. You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits. A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

The Five Factor Personality Test

obsesi

hana ade satu idea giler
which im so~ determined to do it few hours ago
tp dah takut nak buat skrg
seriously,
i have nothing to loose
as a matter of fact i get my peace of mine
and decide (on other subject)

but i have too much pride to be taken care of
uwaaa.......

yeay!!!

dayah dah confirm dpt tempat kat heriot watt
its a hepi news
tiba2
i found my goal
my short term goal

i have been more certain
wif my ambition
i want to give myself 1 1/2 yr
if i didnt make it
then i want to give myself a big~ present
heehe...
so, buat mase skarg, bersabar la dgn hadiah yg x seberp saja ni
but, tak bermksd hn nk putus asa kalo x berjaya
i do have my contingency plan

jd, hn akan bermula dari skrg
bukan x bersyukur dgn ape yg ada

but my aim...
cuma , start from beginning
hn tau, hn x nak stick dgn keje ni selama2nye
nak jgk achieve 'that' aim

p/s:honestly,i like my own self when i am certain about sumthin ;p

went to clinic this afternoon
got a high blood pressure
slightly high actually
140/93
doctor siap tanye lagi..
"how old are u hah?"
"muda2 lagi dh high blood pressure"
ahaks
went there for sore throat remedy
but turned out got 2 bad news
tambah2 sakit kepala aku~~

d.e.w.a.s.a

dah 6 tahun rupanye...kejap je masa berlalu
macam baru semalam register msk uitm
macam baru semalam masing2 struggle nak grad

bila bicara tentang usia, hana agak takut.takut memikirkan ape yang hana dah capai dalam usia 23 thn ni (almost 24 actually).
takut fikirkan sama ada hana anak yang boleh dibanggakan mak abah atau tak.
takut mengenangkan tanggungjawab yang makin bertambah...

past 2 days, rase mcm a very good old days.
gurls night out
even masing2 dh keje.made new friends
still, dgn muka2 yang sama jugak kami ceritakan gusar hati masing2.
masing2 makin matang
ada perancangan sendiri
ada harapan yang harap dapat dipenuhi

hanya Allah yg tau apa yang setiap kami lalui dalam tempoh 6 thn ni.
jika diberi peluang utk berpatah balik, there is no major decision that i want to change
instead of pergi uitm arau, hana still akan decide ke shah alam
if, mak restu hana ambik acca kat kypm instead of suruh buat computer science, hana still akan pilih computer sc.
instead pegi matrik, hana still pilih buat diploma
instead of pilih any other 'uni' hana still akan pilih uitm

because i knew, if i change my decision
i will never knew/met such a great bunch of frens



hopefully, everything going to be smooth
even there is bump here and there
all of us will manage it
Amin

p/s:congrats sab dapt jadi engineer of the month and shift chief
moga2 iza dapt cepat2 jd permanent staff
moga2 ina cepat2 dpt keje yg die nak
moga2 urusan dayah nak sambung master dipermudahkan
last but not least, moga2 niat hn nk smbung master juga dipermudahkan

Jatuh

I falling for this guy
Mati la aku....
Taklarat la nak jiwang-jiwang
Its a taboo topic
Still, people never stop talking about this

Why ar!?guys that fall for me kan, hana x ske
And guys that i like didnt like me back
Funny hah

This is the second guy that i fallin into (3rd if included my obsession.eheh..klakar kalo ingtkn blk)
Tried few times to be in a relationship with other guys
But failed
Being me the reason that it cant be worked out
Ngaku je la

The first guy, if i considered by his look
Totally out from wat i look into a guy
Education..hmmm honestly, i am way better than him
Financiallyyoo...die anak kepada bapak yg kaye raye
Masa tu first time suke kat a guygave me a big impact indeed
It took me years to get over the first guy

And the ‘now’
Wat sud i say.....
Totally out of my league
It is not that i am better than him
But i believe he is soo~~ much better than me
Got both look and brain ):

Dah jadi stalker aku ni tau
I did make the 1st step...last year
And i concluded it as a failure
Juga x punye kekuatan dan keberanian nak mencuba lebih jauh
Tapi x sudah2 ‘menjejaki’ manusia nih

Seriously!!!
I barely knew him
Based on wat i knew, i really really thought that he got such a great persona
Someone nice...at least nicer than me eheh...
Adoi.....
Tak larat la
Tak ske mengidam bende yang rasa x confident bley dapat
Since i hardly get wat i want

Mungkin sbb since dh grad nih
Try to find something as a target
Dl masa blajar target nk grad first class
Which i failed
Frust x sudah sampai nekad xnak attend convo
Luckily masa tu ada perkara yg lebih menarik than attending my convo day
Still, terasa jgk kesedihannye bile teringt2 wat i have been thru to complete my degree tu
Enuf said
Tak larat dah nak sedey2 sbb bende tu
I believe each person have they own portion
Percaya dgn janji2 Allah

Skrg....terpaksa cari target baru..
Hohoho....i am so~ bad in ‘relationship thing’

Berkasih-kasihan

People who knew me might thought
dat i will do just like wat others are doing when they are in luv
not something extreme.
Just something dat they may think ordinary
Such as holding hand or asking permission from d other half to make a decision or even to go somewhere
Alas, itis not something dat i do/did

But, hana masih lagi seperti kebanyakan manusia lain,
yang sedar akan perkara2 jahat/lagha,
namun masih jugak melakukannya.
Watching movies or even went out with a guy
Saya selalu sakit kepala melihat aksi2 pasangan remaja muslim didalam train
And im so ashame wif myself kerana tidak cukup berani menegur sesama saudara.
Phrase such as ‘aku pun bukanlah baik mana’ selalu menyekat niat saya
Agak kerap saya melihat di kalangan mereka ini memakai tudung.
Where i describe it as their way of life
Bukan setakat niat berfesyen2
Si manis menawan berpasangan dengan jejaka yang saya tafsirkan memakai baju ‘ntah hape-hape’ bersama muka yang tiada serinya.
People says don’t judge a book by it’s cover.
Tapi, when do not know any single thing about a person
bukankah penampilannya lah yang dapat kita nilaikan for our first judgement
so, don’t use that words to get my respect

Sungguh memalukan untuk seorang yang bertudung memalukan perkara seperti itu.
mencemarkan nama perempuan muslim secara keseluruhannya.
Who am i to judge others
Tapi kerap kali saya menemui mereka yang tidak memakai tudung, mempunyai etika yang lebih baik berbanding yang memakainya.
Apa yang ingin saya nyatakan, biar apapun, mereka seharusnya menjaga maruah mereka.

Invisible Man

I am truly understood wat are invisible means. Then, u don’t have to remind me.
I do not wish that she will be alone for the rest of her life. Since I know it would be lonely for being alone. But I am clearly understood why men can’t stand her.
She expect others will get along with her. She expect others may agree with her.
But she never try to get along with people, do not want to agree with anybody.
You may be successful, but what is the meaning if you don’t have anyone around to share it with you.
Believe me, I will never be someone ‘big’ like you did. I do not want such things.
You really don’t know me.....

nnnnnn

Keras Hati

That guy deserved to got such respect from her
But this guy, nope!!!
He didn’t deserve the respect from me

Saya berkira2 selama mana saya harus berkeras hati. Berpegang pada prinsip saya. Pada apa yang saya dan mahu semua orang percaya yang ianya benar. Tidak bermakna saya tidak memaafkan dia. Cuma saya tidak dapat melupakan apa yang telah dia lakukan. Dan hingga saat ini, dia bagai tidak mengaku akan kesilapannya dengan tidak berbuat apa2 pada permasalahan yang kami hadapi.

Saya beranggapan apa yang saya lakukan sekarang tidak bermaksud saya tidak memaafkan dia. Cuma saya tidak dapat melupakan apa yang telah dia lakukan.

To forgive is not to forget!!!
I do forgave him but still did not forget what he had done
I will never forget!!!

Benar saya ini keras hati. Namun, saya juga jelas, sekeras2 hati saya, saya mengenali sekurang2nya tiga manusia yang lebih keras hati daripada saya. Saya amat jelas sifat keras hati tidak baik untuk diri sesiapa jua. Lalu saya berdoa semoga Allah akan melembutkan hati saya. Agar saya tidak akan terlepas peluang2 yang seharusnya saya rebut, tetapi saya lepaskan demi kerana ego saya dan kekerasan hati saya ini.

Amin....

got an offline msg from peja regarding the convo days.

d thing is

i have no plan at all to attending d ceremony

seriously!!!

This song give me a headache

Hurt-Christina Aguilera

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were, but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today

Ooh, ooh
I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes

There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you
But I know you won't be there

Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye
When it comes to this,
oooh

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?

There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes
And see you looking back

Ohh
I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself, ohh

If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you
Since you've been away

Ooh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

~seriously, go watch the MV, then you know wat i mean