digress

im not having a great morning starter.its not even good.
for some reasons, it became a key somehow and triggered my misery and all the hurts feelings that i buried deep inside my heart...with my ignorance and denial.

no amount of get away or vacations can actually solves my problem(s).its actually distracted me from thinking about it in way too much.but nope.it did not solved

did i have my fair share in my life!?
i cant answer that.not even when im already reached my 26th years of my life.

did i hope more for coming!?
sure...and i hope it would be a great one.

despite my contrary belief, which is to giving up.my small little tiniest faith tells me to keep moving.believe in hope and what not.and i know if am nobody.no religion, no faith etc, i would just take d bullet and put it inside my head.am not trying exaggerate my problem(s) it is simply how i want to show it in a way, literally, if im able just to give up.

but i cant!!
one of the reasons, yes, i am afraid of death. you see, im not a good daughter, not a good fren, not a good staff and most of all am not a good khalifah. therefore,death is just not a good solutions for me.of course i would like someone to pray for me when i died.and im very much hope that it would be my child(s) which is impossible at this moment since im not even married.....yet

its funny how i can be depressed due to something that considered as a small issue.sungguh duniawi aku nih.but i cant help it.its an event that can be prevent if a precaution measure being taken without ignorance.
sigh....im turning into someone that so ignorant that i dont even care about the unfortunate event that happen to haiti, or even the national transformation event that being organize by the Msia government apatah lagi the recent break up of angelina jolie and brad pitt.all these things ive learned tru my car's radio today while i was shaking and crying heavily until an uncle came and knocked my window.

pakcik,
terima kasih kerana memberikan sedikit kasih sayang dan perhatian kepada stranger ini.

so here i am.writing~
the whole purpose of the existence of this blog.
to be written~
not to be read.

no, im not having my PMS.its not during the time yet.it just there are times when i feels the anger with life as a whole.something that out of my control.and even angrier when the things can actually be control by me but as i said, due to my ignorant i just let it slip away and as the consequences, here i am. full with hatred.

lets keep hoping that it will get better (insyaallah)
and i hope the sabah get away will be a great helper too

sighh~

lunyai~~

penat weh...
aku rase bdn aku mcm x de pun lagi rest betul2 since blk uk ari tuh
mental pun da start penat.byk keje wei!!!

great minds think alike

emotionally attached to my routine

2010

so dah 12 hari masuk tahun 2010.tahun ni aku xnak buat any specific resolutions da
malas~
apart form d regular one which is nak kurus la
yg lain2 tu biar la it goes with d flow
karang awal2 tahun aku ckp nak mcm nih,tiba2 tengah tahun aku tukar lain plak.
sampai kat akhir tahun da lain pulak outcomenyer

ade songs in my head
betol~ ade a few bkn satu je
sepupu aku si bdk2 kecik asek nyanyi lagu jls je beat again la everybody in love la
pastu ade sorg lagik bdk lelaki tp sore mcm pompuan justin something.bieber barber apekebende ntah
tp satu lagu fight for this love aku yg ske.ntah kat sane lagu tu dorg asek pusing2 bekali2.aku pun naik suka la walopun sore pompuan tuh aku rase mcm sore aku lagik sedap.dpt bantuan komputer konfem bertambah2 sedap.

aku weng lagi sbnrnyer..
org puteh ckp jetlag.org melayu ckp... ntah aku pun x tau
malas aku nk ulas2 sgt pasal trip aku sbnrnyer.same je mcm org2 lain mase pegi tempat2 lain

cuma one interesting fact.aku x rasa takut kat sana.atas jalan bwk kreta selamat(sbb x byk motor.almost xde sbnrnyer.cacat la pulak kalo bwk motor sejuk kejung jadinyer).dlm mall rasa selamat.naik tube pun senang (saiko skit la sbb laluan tube berlapis2 dlm tanah).makan pun senang sbnrnyer.seyes aku tempted rasa nak duduk sana jer.

barang murah...kalo guna duit dorg la.
but its obviously because duit dorg kukuh
nak beli kicap kipas udang pun lagik murah kat sana kalo nk compare dolar to dolar
stakat barang2 branded item x usah ckp la.patut la sgt dorg ske tukar2 baju pastu g let go jual murah2 kat car boot.besar sgt la kemungkinannye kalo aku dok sane umah penuh dgn baju beg dan baju.setgh barang da tukar duit kite pun masih murah.

lets keep hoping we are heading in d right track
so kite bley jadik mcm negara dorg jgk~

kat cambridge uni

its good to be home