d.e.w.a.s.a

dah 6 tahun rupanye...kejap je masa berlalu
macam baru semalam register msk uitm
macam baru semalam masing2 struggle nak grad

bila bicara tentang usia, hana agak takut.takut memikirkan ape yang hana dah capai dalam usia 23 thn ni (almost 24 actually).
takut fikirkan sama ada hana anak yang boleh dibanggakan mak abah atau tak.
takut mengenangkan tanggungjawab yang makin bertambah...

past 2 days, rase mcm a very good old days.
gurls night out
even masing2 dh keje.made new friends
still, dgn muka2 yang sama jugak kami ceritakan gusar hati masing2.
masing2 makin matang
ada perancangan sendiri
ada harapan yang harap dapat dipenuhi

hanya Allah yg tau apa yang setiap kami lalui dalam tempoh 6 thn ni.
jika diberi peluang utk berpatah balik, there is no major decision that i want to change
instead of pergi uitm arau, hana still akan decide ke shah alam
if, mak restu hana ambik acca kat kypm instead of suruh buat computer science, hana still akan pilih computer sc.
instead pegi matrik, hana still pilih buat diploma
instead of pilih any other 'uni' hana still akan pilih uitm

because i knew, if i change my decision
i will never knew/met such a great bunch of frens



hopefully, everything going to be smooth
even there is bump here and there
all of us will manage it
Amin

p/s:congrats sab dapt jadi engineer of the month and shift chief
moga2 iza dapt cepat2 jd permanent staff
moga2 ina cepat2 dpt keje yg die nak
moga2 urusan dayah nak sambung master dipermudahkan
last but not least, moga2 niat hn nk smbung master juga dipermudahkan

Jatuh

I falling for this guy
Mati la aku....
Taklarat la nak jiwang-jiwang
Its a taboo topic
Still, people never stop talking about this

Why ar!?guys that fall for me kan, hana x ske
And guys that i like didnt like me back
Funny hah

This is the second guy that i fallin into (3rd if included my obsession.eheh..klakar kalo ingtkn blk)
Tried few times to be in a relationship with other guys
But failed
Being me the reason that it cant be worked out
Ngaku je la

The first guy, if i considered by his look
Totally out from wat i look into a guy
Education..hmmm honestly, i am way better than him
Financiallyyoo...die anak kepada bapak yg kaye raye
Masa tu first time suke kat a guygave me a big impact indeed
It took me years to get over the first guy

And the ‘now’
Wat sud i say.....
Totally out of my league
It is not that i am better than him
But i believe he is soo~~ much better than me
Got both look and brain ):

Dah jadi stalker aku ni tau
I did make the 1st step...last year
And i concluded it as a failure
Juga x punye kekuatan dan keberanian nak mencuba lebih jauh
Tapi x sudah2 ‘menjejaki’ manusia nih

Seriously!!!
I barely knew him
Based on wat i knew, i really really thought that he got such a great persona
Someone nice...at least nicer than me eheh...
Adoi.....
Tak larat la
Tak ske mengidam bende yang rasa x confident bley dapat
Since i hardly get wat i want

Mungkin sbb since dh grad nih
Try to find something as a target
Dl masa blajar target nk grad first class
Which i failed
Frust x sudah sampai nekad xnak attend convo
Luckily masa tu ada perkara yg lebih menarik than attending my convo day
Still, terasa jgk kesedihannye bile teringt2 wat i have been thru to complete my degree tu
Enuf said
Tak larat dah nak sedey2 sbb bende tu
I believe each person have they own portion
Percaya dgn janji2 Allah

Skrg....terpaksa cari target baru..
Hohoho....i am so~ bad in ‘relationship thing’

Berkasih-kasihan

People who knew me might thought
dat i will do just like wat others are doing when they are in luv
not something extreme.
Just something dat they may think ordinary
Such as holding hand or asking permission from d other half to make a decision or even to go somewhere
Alas, itis not something dat i do/did

But, hana masih lagi seperti kebanyakan manusia lain,
yang sedar akan perkara2 jahat/lagha,
namun masih jugak melakukannya.
Watching movies or even went out with a guy
Saya selalu sakit kepala melihat aksi2 pasangan remaja muslim didalam train
And im so ashame wif myself kerana tidak cukup berani menegur sesama saudara.
Phrase such as ‘aku pun bukanlah baik mana’ selalu menyekat niat saya
Agak kerap saya melihat di kalangan mereka ini memakai tudung.
Where i describe it as their way of life
Bukan setakat niat berfesyen2
Si manis menawan berpasangan dengan jejaka yang saya tafsirkan memakai baju ‘ntah hape-hape’ bersama muka yang tiada serinya.
People says don’t judge a book by it’s cover.
Tapi, when do not know any single thing about a person
bukankah penampilannya lah yang dapat kita nilaikan for our first judgement
so, don’t use that words to get my respect

Sungguh memalukan untuk seorang yang bertudung memalukan perkara seperti itu.
mencemarkan nama perempuan muslim secara keseluruhannya.
Who am i to judge others
Tapi kerap kali saya menemui mereka yang tidak memakai tudung, mempunyai etika yang lebih baik berbanding yang memakainya.
Apa yang ingin saya nyatakan, biar apapun, mereka seharusnya menjaga maruah mereka.