ade satu bende yg aku xde hati nak buat
sbb tu la aku sanggup buat keje skrg

it just make me wonder
kalo aku x buat keje nih
ape agaknyer keje aku eh~?

btw, im going away in few more days
hope its going to fresh me up

tak ingat da satu hal

lambat hal lain pulak

the most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed

by sebastian rock chamfort

numb.dead.the longer this continued.the more splintered apart i became.as if i were two people.one warm n yielding the other paralyzed with alarm

' milestone tahun ni sume da settle' wo00ot w0ot

1. The guy that I think that like me and I think I can like him back is someone elses pakwe

2. The guy that im dating and that is not someone elses pakwe, I just couldnt manage to like him back

3. The guy that I think I most despise sampai sakit2 kepala, apperantly is someone that I keep thinking about

Sigh…

4. I want to eat prosperity mcdonald….

5. da dpt pavlova.lalalala….

6. Pastu dpt mkn kat miyagi

7. Yes, im dating out of boredom.abes la aku kena panah petir main2 hati org sbb tu la x jumpe2 lagik my other half.

8. Pastu aku tau my colleague buat ‘secret’ arrangement for birthdayS celebration.ha3…kantaoi.so many of us that were born on November.so ari2 ade je org merengek nak hadiah

9. Secretly, I wish he also would be coming.

10. I.Aint.Affected.By. Harmless.Flirt

Sigh again~

I watched twilight on starmovies last nite. Perasaan aku atas perasaan aku mase tgk smlm masih sama. It create unnecessary tensen kat aku. X pasal2 muka aku pun mcm org in pain. So, mcm biase aku masih x paham wat la all the crazeeyy-ness over the actors.konfius mius. and btw, the so-called hotshot drop dead gorgeous hensem petala kesepuluh tu, aku tgk mcm the so-unwashed. Naseb la kalo nk kutuk aku mengata die sbb x dpt kan, tp sungguh tiap kali aku nmpk muka die kat magz ke newspaper ker confirm nmpk mcm x mandi. Dgn beard berjurai x shave le bagai. Biase la, artis kan, bz memanjang.

Anyhoo, to justify myself mmg aku tgk twilight dolu kat cinema. Dan mesti aku tgk jgk new moon nih. Mmg aku cam muka pelakon2nyer pun. But it doesn’t meaning aku suke kat dema. Maybe sbb aku bace all 4 books. So its kind a spoiler da utk aku yg da tau ape jd kat dorg tuh. Senang ckp, saje..entertainment utk aku kutuk kutuk ngata ngata pelakon2 tuh. Btw, nak tau full story aku bley crite kat korg. Ui think I can stil remember d whole 4 books’s storyline vividly. Of course le kena byr. No such thing as free lunch eh in this world.

coming to end 2009 has no meanings for me. i would very much like to review my resolutions last year and make a KPI out of it but that doesn't matter anymore. i probably am screwed up than 2008, and MORALLY BANKRUPT.

so next year, i am taking a different approach. i will have no goals. except my tradition of losing weight. gain,lose,gain,lose,WHATEVER!as long as i fit into my jeans.

however i am increasing my travel, and any kind of travel will take into account. let see. places i've been in 09 was kluang, jb, Cameron highland, kota tinggi, k.t’ganu, dungun, kemaman, genting, langkawi, kedah, kapas, fraser, penang, Melaka, pd, bandung, seremban, Melaka lagi, pd lagi, seremban lagi, kemaman lagi, dungun balik, kluang lagi, pd lagi, seremban lagi, pangkor, lumut, seremban lagi, Melaka lagi (hurm…I mite end up living at pd seremban or Melaka kot mcm nih)

so 2010 would pretty much include pd, Melaka, seremban (these 3 confirm mesti dlm list), shah alam, Thailand, London, Scotland, s’pore, sabah, brussel, emeriyah arab bersatu, morocco, Dublin, Babylon, cyberjaya, parcel c, parcel d-z, dubai,helsinki,and taman equine. money is not an issue. my astrologers said that i will be rich next year and so i believe them CAUSE IT MAKES ME HAPPY TO THINK THAT I'M RICH.

as this post has no title, i will also end this entry with no meanings whatsoever and could be the least of your concern very abruptly.

madinah few years ago

i dont love mondays btw

aku x sepatutnyer tau. tp aku da x sengaja ter'tau'.jgn...jgn datang....or u going to messing up my emotions

Heart wavering

due to something that happen last weekend, aku terus rase x sehat. Along the way pun hidung aku asyek berdarah (somehow it makes me smile sbb nmpk muke concern s’org….aarghhh I disgust u farhana!!) I’ve failed to stand on my emotions(again).hurm…I dun really want to talk about it. go..go..and go..being buried in the deepest lowest ground. it amazed me myself that I could come in this state

Day after tomorrow would be my 26th birthday. And all I gained from this past year is involvement with men. Yes!! i got in trouble with man. men. i know, SHOCKER.

And I gained my weight. But then again this is not anything new.

oo..im also morally disturbed sometimes.and I hate my relationship with GOD.i know, I disgust. Bile la nak reti bersyukur nih.

All in all, I just to want to let myself know that I regret my decision on last weekend

Sigh~

when i ask how your day was, it is to make conversation. your one word response of ‘good’ or ‘fine’ doesn’t help the situation at all

337. HALF OF YOU HAVEN'T EVEN PARTIED IN THE USA. STOP IT.

330. THE GIRL KATY PERRY KISSED DID NOT LIKE IT.

312. NO, OASIS, SALLY SO CANNOT WAIT. SALLY IS AN IMPATIENT BITCH.

ha3...klakar

All wisdoms are from Got Wisdom?

Haven't Met You Yet

I'm not surprised.
Not everything lasts.
I've broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track.
Talk myself in.
I talk myself out.
I get all worked up, then I let myself down.

I tried so very hard not to lose it.
I came up with a million excuses.
I thought I thought of every possibility.

And I know someday that it'll all turn out.
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out.
And promise you, kid, that I'll give so much more than I get.
I just haven't met you yet.

Mmmm...

I might have to wait.
I'll never give up.
I guess it's half timing,
And the other half's luck.
Wherever you are.
Whenever it's right.
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life.

And I know that we can be so amazing.
And baby your love is gonna change me.
And now I can see every possibility.

Mmmm...

But somehow I know that it'll all turn out.
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out.
And I promise you, kid, I'll give so much more than I get.
I just haven't met you yet.

They say all's fair.
In love and war.
But I won't need to fight it.
We'll get it right and,
We'll be united.

And I know that we can be so amazing.
And being in your life is gonna change me.
And now I can see every single possibility, mmmm.

And someday I know it'll all turn out.
And I'll work to work it out.
Promise you, kid, I'll give more than I get,
Than I get, than I get, than I get.

Ohhh!

You know it'll all turn out.
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out.
And I promise you, kid, to give so much more than I get.
I just haven't met you yet.

I just haven't met you yet.
Ohh, promise you, kid, to give so much than I get.

(I said love, love, love, love...)
I just haven't met you yet

I just haven't met you yet.

p/s:addition in my to do list
g killarney market n buat huru hara
miahahaha

kalo aku tau gini jdnyer aku antar budi pegi spa

aku gn keta adek aku ari nih.initial plan antar die g interbiu.ambek die pastu die antar aku msk opis blk.reason--->die x reti bwk keta lain yg bukan keta die

biase la bdk br start bwk keta.aku pun cam gitu dolu2

pastu mcm besa la.mak aku tuh, die pegi buat plan lain lak tibe2.die yg nk ambek adek aku abes interbiu.hish...makcik kiah nih.biar la bdk tu blajar jd independent plak.bukan nyer x bley.tp bile gabenor da kuar statement.sume pun ikot je la.

hasilnyer...aku jenoh nak msk parking sbb tag tinggal dlm vios.da dpt msk parking jenoh plak nak kluar dr parking reason yg same.aku xdak tag

xpe.bg aku hayati perasaan bwk keta baru.miahahaha

aku da tgk da cite the time traveler's wife yg digembar gemborkn tuh.bley la.agak terhayati lak jgk kejiwangan aku



body eric bana mmg la mengancam.tp..mcm ade yg kurang.aku rase mcm die kurang penghayatan pd karekter die.pergh.....juri2 profesional da x bley carik mkn da.aku da terer da.

mujor kot aku x bc buku die.kalo x lagi die nanes dgr aku komen mcm2 since most of d time d film adaptation from a novel always dissapoint me



pastu mase wedding caremony dorg penat aku kutuk(ha3...spoiler).kutuk punya kutuk punya kutuk rupenya ade je justificationnyer. penat aku mengata there is no way henry si librarian tu can afford dat kind of wedding.i mean..manenyer die dpt duit.tipu tau tak..tipu..tp dipikir2 balik.logik jer.sbb parents pompuan tuh kaya.dorg punye invatation pun bkn mcm kenduro org2 melayu bley sampai beribu riban.kalo da sampai 200pax pun dorg da kire ramai(mcm tau2 je aku nih)

anyway, terus membawa ke isu seterusnye.aku tgk nona smlm.lame gak la tak tgk..aku rase la kan.nona tu patut di'banned'.takdenyer guna label wajib tayang da..

gilor ape.tunjuk rumah chantek2.wedding bapak atok nenek moyang lavish.gilos ape.aku tak kesah la da ko mmg mampu nak buat wedding kayak itu.tp kan,kan ke ko da buat ati org2 lain yg x mampu(mcm aku ni)menjeruk ati.gile ape.pastu bl reporter interbiu

groom: well...konsep kami sbnarnyer mahukan yg simple

bride: yg penting kami dpt bersam berkumpul wif those who we care n care about us on the day that most important to us

groom: and calebrating it wof us

kepala hotak ko!!!ayat ko tu kalo aku la.aku interpret as riak.takabbur.gile la dorg nih.manyak mane duit dlm akaun bley ade hati buat majlis lagu gitu.seram aku wei.

nona
u watch out!!
for making mediocre middle class workers feel less humane and crippled for inability to throw outrageous 7 days 7 nights weddings worth millions of ringgits usually held by children of Datuk's, Datuk Sri's, Tan Sri's, Datuk Tan Sri's
ko da set mark tinggi2 gitu utk those yg looking forward nak kawen wei.
ape2 jd.org berhutang sbb nak byr majlis kawen ke.x jd kawen sbb x mampu nak buat majlis gilang gemilang sbb panggil nonan pun nona xnak dtg ke.tu sume salah ko.da dorg2 tu mampu buat majlis cam gitu.naseb dorg la.cube sesekali ko tunjuk majlis2 yg biase2 ala2 org kebanyakan buat.eeiiii....x pasal2 create unnecessary tension plak kat aku.huh

p/s:nampak sgt aku dengki org laen byk duit

tolong meja

helpdesk lagik...
hari bersama pelanggan plak
virtual sbnrnyer.tp kena dok kumpul satu blk dgn bdk2 department lain

bdk depan aku ensem.sebelah die pun mantap.depan belah sane mengahadap aku pun ganteng.pergh....ramai lagi lelaki hensem rupenyer.
malangnyer, aku berada di opis.leceh lah nak gatal2 gedik2
haih....kenapa la aku keje gomen
nak menggatal pun kena pikir2.so not me

kenapa la xde org nak chating dgn aku tanye soklan nih.name aku da cukup sdap pun ko xnak tanye.pastu sebok calling calling opis aku kacau mase aku wat keje.da elok2 aku mmg spare mase jaga helpdesk nih meh la cepat tanye aku nih
ko nak tukar tempat keje ke.nak tukar skim ke.nak ambik exam ke.nak naik pangkat ke.tanye je la.aku x layan.hahaha....
gile kejam.da 2 jam baru 2 soklan.takpe la aku paham.org ske lagik ckp verbal.bley dgr sore aku yg sedap.takpun jumpe face to face.bley namapk muke cun.chatting cam nih mane die nampak jari jemari ku yg chantek nih kan!?

k la..layan mata la.banyak balak hensem dlm bilik nih kan aku ckp td.nak prektis senyum simpul2 malu sat

what if...

Scenario 1
Langsat: weh..potong rambut e..kat mane
Manggis: Gunting rambut Sharifah
Langsat: ngape gunting..cantik rambut ko panjang
Manggis: rambut cantek ke aku yg cantek
Langsat: err……

Senario2
Manggis: bai, aku x bley jage exam ko esok.ade miting esok pagi
Rambai: la..ye ke
Manggis: aku mintak durian ganti.bley kan.aku tanye durian die kata ok.pulasan pun aku da inform.
Rambai: durian.xde yg cun lagi?
Manggis: la…kalo nak yg cun.aku jgk ar kena g sendri.xde lain da
Rambai: miahahahaa….








Aku tgh syok kat pakwe org.i mean org lain.takkan la pakwe binatang kot kan.

Apperantly,aku syok kat die sbb aku yg sedar dl die mcm syok kat aku.so, being a perah-santan aku convince diri aku yg mmg die syok kat aku (biase la…to justify myself) sape suruh ko bg signal kat aku

cepat la tinggalkan awek ko.supaya senang aku nak ngorat ko secara terang-terangan.tak kose aku jd the other woman.ko ingat aku kose nak lawan2 tgk sape menang.sah2 ko yg dpt advantage.awek ko pegang.aku ko layan.ade spare la katakan…ko tgk aku pun ko tau aku ade potensi bley pukol org sampai mati.

aku tau
kelihatan seperti xde kerje kan
2 post dlm sehari
Lalalalalala……

its thursday(batek day) and am freaking cold!!!

semlm je 2 kali kaki aku cramp.sejok.aih...ni tempat khatulistiwa farhana.

pastu mood aku rase nak amuk
bende2 kecik pun aku rase nk naek angin
mcm biase la.i blame my hormones
woman people woman

waaa...was depressed.then something nice happen,gumbira,come new thing,damn depress balik.
rase mcm nak ddk rumah goyang2 membesarkan perot
dang...cuti lak xdak.aku da ambek in advance utk ujung tahun
naseb la sape kawen mase tu confirm aku x pegi
bukan takat x pegi.hadiah pun aku x nak hulur

da nak november nih..haih..benci betol aku bile x sengaja reflect blk my years
to make myself clear umor aku 26 okeh tahun nih
and my original birth date is on 18th november every year

kena bagi bold sebab kadang2 lupe lagipun aku kenal je org sambut besday 4thn skali.so by right sbnrnyer he just 6yrs old.lar....skolah pun belom.patut la x matang

Life has been so effing simple, i mean not simple, simple, but you know. The life i have is I work. I exercise(walla..athletic tuh). I go home. I see my four walls. I sleep. I dream. I wake up. The cycle continues.

And mcm biase,because of my dumbness, i've neglected people that i actually care unintentionally and care about everybody else instead of a friend of mine.manusia..manusia..mcm mane la nak ubah diri aku nih

da tu gaji berzaman lagi nak msk.monthly komitmen da bayor
1. budi : checked
2. tepon : checked
3. duit umah : checked
4. umah iza : okt checked nov belum
but then,daily expenses n etc2 x masuk lagi.plus aku ade hutang 3riban kat kdt kad.wallawei.....bile nak g tabung aji kuar duit nih

Tahun ni aku dapat bonus 15 tahun. Korang ada? Hahahaha. (in my dreams)
Bye. Aku macam nak meroyan jap.

angin kus kus sudah mari

aku cukup hangin kalo org yg double perlekehkan org single bile diskus pasal budget
bengang tau x

ko x kenal pun sgt
ko bley nk bg statemnt2 mcm tuh

'ala...ko xpe na.ko single lagik.
x payah pikir pasal anak sume'

meh sini hidung ko
bagi sini aku belasah

meluat.

ko ape tau!!kawen pun senang2 mak bapak bg duit bg kawen.
aku ni!!sume pikir sendiri.
kalo ko nak cite psl komitmen jgn ingt ko bley menang la
konon ko lagik byk tanggungjwb

malangnye itu hanye ilusi
ape yg aku buat hanye angguk n senyum setuju (konon2nye BETOL ko mmg kena pikir lagi byk dari aku - on d budget thingy)

p/s:lupekan la~~aku tak rase adenye bonus tu

this is what i know

many things that i dont know
but this is what i know

I know I will never be too old to learn new things.

I know I can always change....if I choose to.

I know that love is real ...and once felt, will never go away.

I know I'm imperfect.

I know that the ability to make art, in whatever form, is a blessing and true gift of the human soul, and is always a worthwhile pursuit.

I know that regardless of where I am, every day can be a good day.

I know that beauty, knowledge, and experiences are subjective.

I know that everyone at one point in their lives are alone, and it can be amazingly wonderful or excruciatingly horrid.

I know that laughter is better than silence.

I know that words can either crush a person or lift a person up.

I know that I could be better.

I know that friendship is worth cherishing.

I know that my life is a gift to me, and I am undeserving.

I know I can make a difference.

This is what I know,

LEMAH lutut
saket kepala
loya tekak

hurm....mcm simptom org mengandung
the thing is...im not!!

dua ari da nih
aku jarang nak saket
tapi aku tau
bile aku saket
lame la tu nak eloknyer

p/s:terus ingat lima perkara sebelum lima perkara

signed up in a last minute programme and feeling broke

T_T huhuhuhu.....

gaya budak umor 26thn pose

A: sambal udang la
bukan sotong
ade ke sutun umah ko?

B: ade ciput
sutung pun ciput
lebih ari tu buat spagetti tu
uuu spagetti pun sedap
apesal aku ni?
dah hari ketiga pun cam nak mampus pose

A: aku pun
kejap nak lamb chop
kejap nak triple plate
kejap nak nasik lemak

B: uhuhuhu,,,
takde gerai nasik lemak kukus sedap2 sikit kat mane

A: kalo nasik lemak kononyer aku ggigih nak masak
esok xnak pose
nak makan ani sup utara

B: uuuuu sedap nye
ani sup utare
nak jugak

A: dah sudah...
da msk list jgk le tu

B: mane niiiii
nak masak kena gi pasar dulu
or kau nak try alamanda kat bayou tu
malam nak gi supper lak,,
waduhhh

A: gemok.......

B: hehehe

A: ice blended black curent sedap gak
uwaaaaa
tamak

B: kopitiam malam laaa

A: wah...x bley pikir
tamak sgt da n ih

B: aaaa
cepat la decide
kalau nak sume ade dan dekat Chicken King
kalau ade mood nak bertanye-kite cari nasik lemak,,

A: konfiden sedap?

B: kalau nak rajin masak - gi beli dulu

A: website die x convincing

B: aku penah makan ayam die jek,,, fried chicken sedap le
kedai Sharifah pun ade macam2..
sebelah chicken king
nasik lemak aku tak pasti
nasik lemak kopitiam sedap gak..

A: wakakaka...
da bunyik tamak mcm aku
okeh
te g s7
msk je mane2 kedai yg berkenan nanti

B: okeh,.,kite raun raun yer,,,
s7 mane?
sup urat ketin ke ape?
ke area pkns
mcD tu pun aku tgk sedap wehhh

A: waaaallaaaa...betol
aku ade kupon mcd rm5
sedap2

B: alaaaaaa,,,
ape nak makan ni,,, tadi aku teringin nan & tandoori
pastu nak steak lak
pastu nak sambal sotong lak

A: capati sedap

B: huuuuuuuuuuuuu
sedaaaaaaap
semalam aku lalu kedai bawah tu, lawo gile nan die
kombung
berkilat
kalau perah asam limau atas ayam tandoori,,,. perggghhhh!

A: ooooiiiiii
torture siut

B: so gane nih??
decide...
gi roung s7 mane.?

A: ko la
bg option lagik byk2
da pening byk sgt image dlm kepala
da ar...confirm roti nan+tandori+capati
rase2 x cukup aku mintak ko tapau o-town

B: Oraittttttttt
beli kat bawah jek
kite beli 6.30
terus buke sekali

a fren lost her baby in her almost 9 months pregnancy

its a sad news
very sad indeed
setakat kisah aku xde pape la sgt

belum lagik aku compare dgn citer org2 kat padang n samoa sane

td g visit die, baby still dlm perut
obviously the baby is not moving anymore
da tu kena ddk kat bilik yg kena share dgn newly mom
baby jiran nangis is a GREAT torture for her

budi+raya+keje

Budi telah mendapat ‘luka’ nya yg pertama

Aku rasa mcm hati aku dirobek2 dgn dasyatnyer sekali

Yg buat aku lg marah, aku x sedar bile pun die ‘jatuh’. Maunyer aku x rasa nak ngamuk

Naseb la musim raya. Malas la aku nak spoil kan mood sume org

Aku pun nak jugak jaga mood aku raye2 nih

Raya kali nih biase2 je.aku malas sbnarnyer nk crite pasal raya

Sebab aku penat...raya ialah musim yg memenatkan bagi kaum perempuan

Especially bile yg lelaki2 even kat umah die sendiri biase je tlg2 buat keje kat dapur

Tapi, bila sampai kat kg, sume mengangkang tunggu je dipanggil bile la nak sampai time makan

Kalo tanyer aku, itu la reasonnyer kenapa aku x larat tunggu kat kampung lama2

Takkan la nak harap org2 tua tu sume sgt. Mane yg dah ade anak bley la guna alasan nak tgk anak

Mcm aku nih, anak mane yg aku nk tengok.anak tekak??anak rambut??anak tudung??

Jangan la pulak ngata aku x ikhlas buat keje. Aku cume penat je...bile aku penat biarkan aje aku membebel sendiri.tau la aku diam nanti

tahun ni jgk aku dah x berapa pandai mengelak bile disoal aku keje kat mane

aku pun x sure dah jumpe berapa kali raya since aku keje lepas grad dl.dulu mase aku keje kat rhb la paling best.
-keje kat kat mane
*kat KL
-KL kat mana
*jln tun razak
-kat belah mane tu
*dekat dgn bukit bintang
-hah
*dkt dgn kedutaan indonesia tu
-company ape tu
*bank
-bank ape
*rhb (ini standard jwpn utk sedara mara yg aku x berapa nak go sbb suke ambik kesempatan.giler x persistent)

tapi ni xde pape lagik.ade la sorg kwn aku tu lagi best jwpn die.
'keje pasang kabel kat KL'
dasyat betol.aku mati2 pikir die ade share dgn company die keje tu.tp jwpn tu best.die pun ckp makcik2 tu terus diam dgr jwpn die.blajor tinggi2 bertahun2 keje pasang kabel je.die x tau gaji minah tu masyuk.

tahun ni, family aku pun bley la tahan ramainyer yg keje dgn governmnt.da sudah die ingat aku ni ddk tempat strategik giler.aku da abes kena interbiu pasal keje aku.betol...name je gah.pakcik makcik atuk nenek jgn la terpedaya.saya hanya kuli saja yg slalu kena fotostat mcm2 mcm keje kat printing company lagaknyer.

jgn la pulak suruh aku bg keje kat sedara die punye sepupu belah atuk menakan punyer adik ipar punye biras
dah la ku x tau kat tang mane kaitan aku dgn die.
ini bukan kerajaan aku..kalo aku join ayah pin ker mungkin la aku bley nak tolong lepas goda ayah pin dgn kecantikan aku supaya aku dijadikan isteri no 4 die lepas die ceraikan no 4 sedia ada.
kalo ko dl pengarah kat pejabat pendidikan daerah ko x yah la tgk bdk gred 41 kat federal ni punyer kuasa mcm gred 41 kat tempat ko.awak silap...silap besar.....

Tapi bile dah berkumpul ramai2 ni aku suke je..agak2 mood aku elok aku layan la bdk2 kecik.

Walaupun aku mmg suke cari pasal dgn budak kecik, aku pun x tau dorg tetap suke kat aku

Mungkin sebab aku cantek aku rasa..dan aku baik hati

So, kalo setakat aku lempang sekali dua dorg x heran..dorg tetap carik aku dan mencari pasal dgn aku semula

Ape lagi aku nak bebel~

Aku tgh byk keje sbnrnyer..byk sgt sampai aku x lalu nak hadap.nak kata aku cuti lama tinggal keje, aku x cuti pun.khamis jumaat lepas lagi aku da start keje.niat hati nak simpan cuti buat kawin hujung tahun. Mana la tau balik keje nanti aku sempat main kenyit2 mata dgn mamat kereta sebelah masa stuck dlm jam.hurm....

Okeh la, aku cube mencari inspirasi dlm bekerja.ptg ni aku ade miting dgn bos besor.immediate bos aku da naik pangkat pulak.so, post die akan dikosongkan utk org lain la pulak.sape la bos baru aku agaknyer....jgn la yg menyesakkan nafas aku sebab bos aku skrg nih best giler.percaya je dgn kitorg buat keje.bahu dah terasa berat since aku la yg paling senior dlm team aku.cepat je masa berlalu~


“i want my hair blowing in the wind and wet in the rain”

Surat terbuka kepada Anonymous

Hihi

I find it hard to write when i'm happy. I guess when you are sad and depressed words just flow from your mind as a positive feedback for the emotional breakdown.

So can you guess on which state i'm in?

Nevermind.

I have coming to this state again where someone is stalking me

I have been here before. Ive even wrote about it. Tp malas nk korek carik kat mane

What can i do. Am so popular that people just cant leave me alone

So, this blog is no longer in private mode since i need to decide to be a gay or straight

Dear Anon,

Regardless what is your gender, I am so excited that someone finally come to his senses and visited my blog and found me interesting (did u?)

So, in order to reach me by email or chat, my address is hanahilal@gmail.com. I would totally give you my phone number but it's pretty dangerous to give your number in the internet says pesanan khidmat masyarakat from the radio station i listen to in quite sometimes ago.

And after we hung out in the chatroom or whatever, maybe we can set up a date, get to know each other better and who knows, things will start to blossom between the two of us. Ha3

Dont worry, i dont eat people on my first date

Despite the contrary beliefs, i am an attractive, healthy, do not carry STD and also a mentally normal person.



Life is so interesting - I'm taking it all in, not missing a trick!

09.09.2009

2 years ago..

1.excited nak mampus sbb baru2 start keje betol2 pegang duit beria nak mampus.

2.mengoptimumkan penggunaan kredit kad dgn gadget2 terbaru sebab aku dpt staff limit

3.poyo giler drift atas jalan sbb first time pegang stereng sendri
d day i sent rahman away

4.gatal di tahap maksimum

5.kurus skit dari skrg tp sebok g makan sana sini

after 2 years..

1,im a government servant..x ske keje aku pun da stuck x bley sesuka ati nak resign

2.gadget2 poyos yg aku beli dl rosak da sume.eg:hp nokia express music aku yg harge rm1000++ da selamat rosak aku jual pun.aku guna nokia harga rm200 je skrg.plus i have 3 cdt cards but only using one for my own sake (jgn riso..another tu xde annual fee)

3.aku nak supir!!!!xnak drive da.nak muntah...kalo la aku bley ikat belon byk2 kat keta pastu terbang2 gitu jer (at one point rase nk tido kat opif jer sbb malas giler nk drive)
presenting budi yg sedang mendptkn therapynya

4.im single.tp malas giler nk berusaha.so, those yg rasa hebat n agak2 bley nk handle aku yg poyos n ego giler nih, tolong la ngorat aku.
requirement:musti bley match dgn emotional intelligence aku (yg tinggi itu..).tp kalo ko nyer IQ da tinggi xyah la ade EI tinggi2 pun x pe.sbb IQ aku nih rendah jer.slalu buat IQ test nk mintak2 keje pun x lepas.

5.pernah satu masa berat aku cecah 60kg..aku nk pitam sebab panik halu satonaka xnak angkat aku da..
plus aku kena pikirkan masalah wardrobe

okeh..tu jer
saje je aku
nak gak aku post tarikh ari nih
kalo bkn bln pose confirm ramai yg nikah nih
silap2 aku pun nak nikah skali
tahun depan punya 10.10.2010 aku pun belum tentu idup lagi

perempuan suka ckp banyak berbanding lelaki

kajian mengatakan bahawa wanita lebih banyak bercakap dari lelaki dengan purata sebanyak 20,000 perkataan yang dituturkan seorang wanita berbanding lelaki sebanyak 7,000 patah perkataan setiap hari. Bagi aku, aku langsung tak menafikan pernyataan ni. Memang betul. Perempuan memang banyak cakap. Perempuan banyak yang macam Joyah. Tapi bagi aku setiap perbuatan ada sebabnya. Selidiki senario di bawah:


Di rumah (exaggeration of Kejoyahanness of women):

Bini: ishh..abang ni, balik keje suka sepah stokin rata-rata, penat tau nak kutip. kalau abang nak gajikan maid untuk saya tak apalah, ni rumah dah lah kecik sakit mata tau bang. (31 words)

Laki: ok,ok abg kutip la ni. (4 words)

Bini: macamana keje hari ni bang?(4 words)

laki: biasa je. Yah? (3 words)

bini: yah penatlah hari ni bang, harga ikan, cili, bawang semua naik lagi, abang pulak bukan nak kasi duit lebih kat yah, terpaksa lah Yah budet-budget. Takleh lah pi salon set rambut 3 kali seminggu lagi. Gaji abang bila nak naik lagi? anak kita tu abu tu pulak dah pandai melepak dengan kawan2 dia pulak. Abang nasihatkanlah dia, cakap saya ni dah tak lalu dia dengar. Pastu tadi jiran kita tu tadi beli sofa baru, rumah kita ni asyik pakai kerusi rotan lagi. Bila kita nak tukar ni bang. Saya tau la bukan raya lagi, tapi apa salahnya, untuk abang jugak, tenangkan minda bila balik umah, hati pun senang.(108 words)

Laki:Hmm.... ( is that considered a word?)


suasana dating bf & gf:

awek: apa yang you fikirkan? (4 words)

Balak: tak ada pape. (3 words)

awek: tipu, kenapa you senyap je. Termenung jauh plak tu. You dah ada perempuan lain ye. Cakap, apa kurangnya i ni. Dah banyak i berkorban untuk u. tapi u??(28 words)

balak: ish..mana ada la. (4 words)

Awek: baik u cakap betul-betul. I tak suka lah u main-mainkan i.Kalu you dah tak suka i, u cakap je lah. I bleh terima.(24 words)

Balak: betul ni. I luv u lah. (6 words) (walhal dalam kepala otaknya sekarang tengah memikirkan kenapa czech republik bleh kalah dengan ghana)


girls hang out:

vbahfvsagfatgagfadhgvshfgdvsfabajdf fhfsda#!%R#!%^$U#^#&!*#&!^#VHVSBVTfshdgsbdftbsfhsogu9
0uhroh4y84bnmgjrngknhg1526
4141RHUT3T9DSNGHDSGJpotpetpotpetblablablabichybitchytalk,
girliegirliestuffngumpat
ngumpatngumpatblablabalaaaa (uncountable)


boys hang out:

GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (1 word)
( And after a while totally checking out those hot sexy barely dressed chicks beside their table with their own uncontrollable imagination)


MEN AND THEIR IGNORANCE AND MIND FULL OF SEX.

All in all, men and their behaviour are mainly the source of our conversation topic. Partly because women are super caring human race and we like to practice our motherhood nature as much as we can to bring peace to the world. Sharing is caring. Sharing information is a communication. Communication is a way of understanding. We would like to understand what's going on inside every single people mind in our life. That is what caring is all about.So can you blame us? Can you? I rest my case.

btw
I think i have lost some weight.

Life is brilliant.

Already 9 months. Time really flies. I'm scared.

But i have lost some weight. Yes.

Life is good. At least For Now.
Aku teringin nak Milo Ais Bungkus Ikat Tepi.

" Stressed spell backwards is Desserts, Coincidence? I Think Not "

house of complaints

Assalamualaikum

1. maklumla buulan pose.kena bagi salam.

2. Pagi ini bila aku bukak rhbonline dan cek akaun, aku rasa macam deja vu pulak.

Ya Tuhan, kenapa banyak sangat duit ni? Aku nak buat apa dengan duit banyak ni?

Hik. Tipu je.

Itu sebenarnya hanya impian aku.

3. there are so many problems. I choose not to care. Hope that it would wash away like rains falling down cleaning the pathway.



4. Aku suka bau jln tar lepas hujan. Macam ketagih

5. im just lost these days - so uninspired, i just dont have that specific survival agenda anymore

6. how do you find love if you dont know what to look for?

7. Sometimes i feel so stupid

8. I can fit into my "JEANS-DAH-KURUS-KE-BELUM?" again!!!

9. i am sorry for being selfish and thinking that the world revolves around me.i should just slap my face and throw myself in the woods so i will be bitten by a gang of chipmunks and vegetarian lizards.

we can communicate without talking

koz he understands my mind language

koz i am so demure

1. aku pakai baju baru....baju baru aku pakai....lalalala

2. kuceng bengong pagi2 sebok nak melintas kat DUKE.sah2 kat situ sume org main pecut jer.tunggu la sign melintas ke hape dulu.x pasal2 create unnecessary tension utk aku.


wahai kuceng x bermoral di DUKE next time tunggu sign mcm nih br melintas


kuceng bermoral melintas

3. Sapura blackout kejap td, PC aku x bley on selama 3 jam even lampu sume da ade blk.rase nak bakar manusia

4. betol!!aku mmg tgh hangin

aku marah2 pun tetap comel

5. (my right eye is twitching) i sense something is coming.

6. Hormones, people. Don't meddle with women who have rollercoaster ride estrogen.

less of me

to avoid talking about myself n my stupidity (or my mental illness)
lets talk about people in my ofis (n her stupidity)


mase mkn a pregnant lady cite pasal name anak.
bley nama 'bobohison' cam out.
aku x tau la mcm mane die nak eja
iniatial idea nak name bobo je.
bobohison mcm merangkumi bobo-his-son.
which i think very stupid.but i didnt say it was stupid or saying somthng stupid since i know i can be dumb at times

sebagai khalifah yg amat baek hati aku pun ckp la
'it almost sounds like bobohizan'
bley die ckp 'eh best gak.if its a gurl bg name tu la'

aku tau die x serius
kalo die serius pun aku in denial
mcm nak terus buat koir wonderpet 'ini serius.....'

so i said
bobohizan tu maksudnyer bomoh la utk org pribumi somewhere in sabah or s'wak
die ingat aku tipu
'eh...mane ko tau'
since die pun bdk itm aku pun ckp ade kite blajar mase titas
(yes!!me myself surpriseed that im actually remembered it)

bley gelak2 nak tukar name jadik pendekar andika
yes!!!andika with d pendekar skali

sukati la..anak ko pun bkn anak aku

ps:its not my fault dat people think me as mentally challenging since most of my frens is also like dat (they too intelligent dat tend to turn into mental illness - just at times, most of d times they are pretty normat people)

i looks like a panda and hardly waking up where no amount of cuppa Joe would shake my system to boot up

i have no idea wat to blog or watsoever

1. around this time last year, i am blinded by love, so i hate myself now

2. i want to eat a good nice ice cream. be it baskin robin or new zealand natural. but its not even 30th or 31st. so any ice-cream is good.
we all need all the help we can get when that bad mood swings in

3. i also want a nice hair-cut.i luv to have the samba lion king hair

4. ooo god..am over the age of 25

5. and i think mischa barton is hot btw. so as james mcavoy.
just my another split personality. kejap gay anothr moment straight

6. people are jealous of me. koz i'm beautiful, have long legs and i know cat steven

7. first person in my received call list was my ex. some guy who broke my heart.
but i always caved in koz i'm a perpetual idiot at large.ihatchu

8. and the last text message i received say "hai sayang, bila kita nak kawin ni, i tak sabar nak tunggu u lahirkan anak-anak i"
yes... im in delusional

9. I doubt i EVER going to get married. so im trying to do mitosis so that i can reproduce myself like amoeba. but it's quite an impossible thing to do. so, sperm donor here i come!!!!

10. koz i don't want to get hurt unnecessarily

walking zig zag

walla....
aku panik
panik la aku
walalalalala....
mcm maner nih

hum ti dum ti dum

sepak bola masuk gol

satu je aku nak ckp
'hah!!padan muka'
'served u right hana!!!'

beria belagak nak tunjuk rajin bace buku mase wedding
ala...xyah ckp pun aku tahu isi hatiku sendri
nak berlagak tunjuk riak la tu
padan la muke ko!!!!

footnote:
i've lost my friend's book during a wedding
da patah balek pun tp x jumpe buku tuh
mampus nak carik mane!!!????

lempang budak

ok
pagi2 ni cek email sume bagai
terus rase nk lempang budak
bukan budak bdk2 kecik tu
walopun aku sedar sesedar2nyer aku nih garang melampau
idak la kejam sgt nk lempang budak
budak yg aku nk lempang ni
budak yg da x berapa budak
bukan anak dara lagi pun
baye2 aku
cume apparently aku nih masih anak dara
ntah bile nak hilang daranya

tak kira la ko kat penjuru benua mana pun
pikir la masak2 dl b4 bg statement
aku yg tumpang hangin
ko x tau kabar berita tu satu hal
tapi sebab ko yg mcm tu la org xde ati pun nk share berita dgn ko
huh

there is so~ many things happen around but i dun wanna write about em

walopun mungkin aku perasan sorg2
its too personal
xde ati nak taip
xnak la kalo2 org lain bace
(cet!!mmg sungguh perasan sorg)

things that i dunno, i don care!!!

i always say dat i know wat am i doing tapi betol ke aku tau!?

curik gambar iza
ok
bunyi mcm seyes je
sbnarnyer idak la sgt pun

slalu jer jadi bende nih

hana slalu rase hn berada ni situasi
'the potential on being d other women'
nak ckp kronik idak la pun
since most of the time i realized it in d very beginning
at the initial stage

but
at the age of 25 (almost 26 in few more mths)
it makes me wonder

sampai bile
sampai bile aku nak lari
on each time when i realize there is potential on me being the other women
i run
i ran
im running

kalo d other party tu someone else's husband
harus la aku lari kan!?

wat if, he is not
not a husband
but someene else's man
or boyfriend
sud i snatch him

bukan la nk ckp aku ni baik sgt pun
it just that ive seen d damaged done
so as a senses human with two legged and alive
aku tercongak2 la jugak
seboleh mungkin mintak la dijauhkan sgt2

but, d guy seems so promising
he's not prefect
but he do have d quality dat im looking into for my other half

ok
esen ini kedengaran sgt mushy mushy

mesti aku malu nk bace blk dikemudian hari

it just make me thinking
arent i suppose to fight for love
to fight for my happines
was it appropriate to hurt other's women heart in order to let me hepi

ok rase awkward da
i do sense something fishy
in d way he look@me
hana bukan stakat perasan ok
seram ok

he dont even know d other side of me
u wont like me if u do
ya Allah tentukan yg terbaik utk hana

p/s:kalo cam gini gayanyer
betol la kot x kawen aku nih
nak anak wei~~!

Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)

pagi2 sampai ofis da plan cantek punyer
ari ni nak settle paper utk miting
bwk kuar sume fail n docs
tibe2 teringat
alamak lupe nk cek email
bukak la email
respond sane respond sini
nampak pulak si aziz lalu dpn bilik

me:ajis!!
aziz:wei, ko da tgk paper
me:cite ape?
aziz:ala pasal tut(disclosed heheh..)
me:kat ne?
aziz:ade kat utusan.cube surf(msk bilik terus duduk)

terus surf
ting tong ting tong dgn ajis
borak sane borak sini
en rashid pun lalu

aziz:eh en rashid!!

aziz settle2 hal die
terus teringat
'alamak!lupe nk antar memo kat ompd'
*ompd=IT/teknikal unit

buat2 memo
g antar kat ompd
terserempak dgn bos
terus panggil msk bilik ajak diskusi
tong tang tong tang
lunch hour sampai

solat toilet
pas lunch hour dpt fon kol
settle sane settle sini
duduk kat meja balik
nampak segala fail+docs utk buat paper miting
waaaaaa......aku x sentuh satu pun lagi

terus terpikir ADD
pegi wat blog lak
uish...giler aku nih
balik lambat la jwbnyer

i have reason(s) to despair but i choose to be cool

i wanna be nothing and be happy

huh!!!
pagi2 lagi aku da rase miserable
terok betol
niat di hati nk pose.ari nih isyrak mikraj
set alarm nk bangun sahur...haram...
pukul 7 sudahnyer aku bangun
sampai ofis pun ngam2 sipi nk 830
tu kire mujur le jln x jam

pastu torturediri dgr lagu2 terseksa
adoi la
ni la msk nxt phase for 2009
aku ni kalo ikutkn tahun da consider 27 la
even by birthdate am not even 26 yet
mungkin la aku ni tua sorg2 dgn kuceng 2, 3 ekor di sebuah apartment di pinggir kota
terok sgt da pemikiran aku nih

wei...
nak anak wei!!!!!


Truth be told I tried my best
But somewhere long the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
But the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here and
Tell me I told you so

jangan ngata aku x bersyukur...cuma kalau2 bley mintak lebey

seyes cantek beg nih

kalo aku kaye raye, bekerja hanya mengisi masa lapang
sungguh aku mahu ini beg
meruntun2 hati ini ok
tp coach ok
idak la aku termampu
baru2 kuar nih lg2 la tambah mahal nyer
bukan satu ni je ade lagi



aku nak warne kuning tuh.tp hijau tu pun cantek jugak
pilih la warna apa2 pun
nine west nih
RM195 exckuding shipping
uish...idak la aku mampu

ade lagik satu


yg ini below RM40 jer
taiwan mari
xde jenama2 ok
kalo ade brand pun, brand kokak
tak pun ayam ke belalang ker
tgk gambar beg tuh pun tau
bley die lapik atas suratkabar ke magazine ke hape
terok betol promotion
tp cantek gak per
cumer perlu pertimbangan yg serius since ni beg utk jln2 nih
x bley pun aku nk bwk msk opis
mcm membazir la pulak
x bley bwk opis tunjuk riak sama kawan2

keji!!!

a BIG prezzie

ahak2...
hari kemalasan sedunia
am not sick wif my job
but the people itself sickening me
x kesah la
pape la
kat mana2 orgztn pun ade kesah mcm ni
kat bank dulu pun ade
ade yg lagik dasyat
for this tiny small matter ni
i can handle it
no hal punye
positive...positive
optimist...optimist

ooo...i read my jurnal back
this particular post made me laugh
ahak3....
da bg diri sendri adiah pun
since am not furthering my master (yet)
so i gave myself a big present
































its a brand new car!!!!
next time i will upload the picture
not anything dat lavish
im just proud dat it was my own

p/s:pergh.....ni baru keta
dapat anak nanti x tau la aku obses mcm mane

cookie monster

lately, kat mana2 'panas'
'hangat' je sume
masing2 nk melenting
sabar...sabar...
sabar la wahai hati

point-of-no-return

when u reached at the point-of-no-return, just go thru it and make the best out of it….then it’s called real life…

anjeng keji

kelisaku

im having a hard time of letting go my kelisa
it has been a great help for me since the past 2 yrs n a half
mati la aku nanes xnak berenti
kalah org putus cinta



sblm ni aku berbunga2 dpt tukar keta br
pastu fiza nk beli keta tu
tibe2 die back out
aku rase ralat je

tp tibe2 ari ni,
bl aku sebok2 countdown ari nk give up keta tu (which-is-this-weekend)
elok jer aku nanes

hei hei hei
aku ingat aku pompuan yg kuat-keras-hati-bagai
rupe2nyer nk jual keta pun bley nanges gini ker

aper aku nk buat skrg nih~~~
iza ckp kejap jer ko sedey tuh
nanti2 dpt keta br ok
hurm...mungkin sgt betol
tp x ubah hakikat yg kelisa tuh byk berjasa kat aku

camne nih~~
emo bagai

ya allah...tetapkan la hatiku~~~~

p/s:stil sob sob sob I_I

just walk away

Lyrics | Celine Dion lyrics - Just Walk Away lyrics

I know I never loved this way before*And no one else has loved me more*With you I've laughed and cried*I have lived and died*what I wouldn't do just to be with you*

I know I must forget you to go on*i can't hold back my tears too long*Though life wont be the same*I've got to take the blame*And find the strenght I need to let you go*

Just walk away*Just say goodbye*Don't turn around now you may see me cry*I mustn't fall apart*Or show my broken heart*Or the love I feel for you*

So walk away*And close the door*And let my life be as it was before*And I'll never never know*Just how I let you go*But there's nothing left to say*Just walk away*

There'll never be a moment I'll regret*I've loved you since the day we met*For all the love you gave*And all the love we made*I know I've got to find the strenght to say*

Just walk away*Just say goodbye*Don't turn around now you may see me cry*I mustn't fall apart*Or show my broken heart*Or the love I feel for you*

So walk away*And close the door*And let my life be as it was before*And I'll never never know*Just how I let you go*But there's nothing left to say*Just walk away*

Just walk away*Just say goodbye*Don't turn around now you may see me cry*I mustn't fall apart*Or show my broken heart*Or the love I feel for you*

So walk away*And close the door*And as you leave i know i love you more*And I'll never never know*Just how I let you go*But there's nothing left to say*Just walk away*

the end has just started

i've realized it for quite some time
that we was actually heading to the end road

officially, it ended on 29th november 2008
and ironically, it's a day that one of my fren getting hitched



im not sad (anymore..)
i glad that i admitted a new feeling inside of me
menyesal??
nope..
even i wasting years of my precious life(yup!my world still revolves around me)

im moving on





saje je buat quiz kat bawah nuu
i know
am helpless and hopeless

You Are A Romantic Realist

You tend to be grounded when it comes to romance. Sure, you can fall hard... but only for someone you've gotten to know. And once you're in love, you can be a total romantic goofball... But you'd never admit it to your friends!

Are You Romantic or Realistic?