possible ke...

sakit badan sampai rasa nk muntah

Pagi lg dah down.people keep cheering me to keep me positive
tp x boleh nk respon.coz I'm afraid they might not love me anymore
Ya Allah..send me some positive vibes
TT_TT

I think that if my friends or family are upset, I won't tell them that people are starving in Palestine or anything like that because it wouldn't change the fact that they were upset.and even if somebody else has it much worse,that doesn't really change the fact that you have what you have.good and bad.

questions

How much is too much?
How to deal with this issue?
Why am I being carried away by this thing?
How far I should go?
How can I protect myself?

I think I've been crying buckets within this year alone

boleh tak nak hilang
nak hilang lenyap ke dasar
why am I having so much a hard time here
Ya Allah..tunjukkan jln pulang

something is wrong
why am I being so sappy about this thing
tahun ni plg byk menangis kot

this is bad

...when I'm keep coming for reason(s)

buat bodoh

so this is how it feels
mmg tak ada hati
pull stop!

dah makin tua makin cepat pulak sentap

...not there

mogok!

hbp

aku dah agak.
sbb slalu sgt sakit kepala
good thing?bad thing?
yg pasti hari ni I wanna make it a fun day

congratulations

You don't choose who or what you love;you know

Tahniah iza on ur wedding.dah seminggu lebih but I consider its done once majlis belah awin pun settled.you look fine (in fact gorgeous) on ur day(s)-nikah and kedua2 majlis
As much as I want to see you happy and shows me some good example on marriage life and relationship I hope you do realize that you can always count on me incase there are anything you want to share with somebody but couldn't feels like to share it with your partner.
And I believe you don't have that kind of unrealistic ideas towards marriage like some people do.best of luck friend.Insyaallah have a bless and happy marriage life

mood x berapa elok.blk rumah pn still mood x berapa kena
its a pair of a sad eyes
I know there are people who can identify a sad eyes
and yes..I'm having it right now

Good:tomorrow will be better
Bad:but what if its not?
Good:then u say it again tomorrow.because it might be.you never know right?at some point tomorrow will be better

I hate that feeling-when the last thing you want to do is cry in front of someone,but the tears won't stop coming.it feels like they burn your pride with each drop

I'm done with the surat mohon pertukaran
Its not easy to even start writing it
Next stage mengadap bos utk approval
pagi ni mengadap 2 of my colleague
I've told them the news.regarding my decision to ask for transfer
said sorry and ask for their understanding since I feels drowning already
lemas.sesak
kalau x bgtau pn dorg akan tau since dema la jgk yg uruskn nanti
it just utk mengelakkan kekecohan
Ya Allah..mohon dipermudahkn
I need my job to keep me sane

On the other hand...I've cancel my date for this friday
sampai bile nk hanyut
cukup2 la rase lemas utk satu perkara
My heart can't take 2 messy things at the same time
so..I'm back to the market ha3
honestly,rase penat sgt
Ya Allah..pls let the next one is the one.Ameen

last week was a great week.so,tuhan maha adil
hari ni menangis kat ofis.
I've admitted kadang2 aku bg justification pasal tindak tanduk n my feelings at the current.
Its true that I don't like my current task.but my negetive perception doesn't help at all
hari ni nangis sbb sedar I didn't do my job that well (like I used to do)
kecewa dgn diri sendiri n takut abah kecewa dgn hana
so its leading to reminiscence moments with arwah abah
it never hurts any less;it just hurts less often
Al-fatihah

I lost hope towards people nowadays
Kalau sesama kita dah x boleh menegur then what's the use?
People are talking about youngster yg dah x boleh ditegur
Ape bezanya org dewasa?
I lost hope.I'm sorry

Oh!

forgot to mention
I'm officially bossless
hoyeeeeh....erk

this is crap!I hate myself acting this way

tgk blk markah lnpt for the past 3 years.
aku sedey..
sedey bl tgk dpt ke aku markah mcm tu lps ni
1st year 87.20
2nd year 89.07
3rd year 90.00
thn ni?sedih la..

need break from business interaction

Its sickening!

temporary remedy

sleep so I don't have to think
eat but then I'm not getting any thinner
grumbling,complaining yet I'm afraid people may get sick of me

this is the hardest training in my career life
Its even harder than the 8mths training

Steve Jobs ckp..

"The only way to do great work is to love what you do.If you haven't found it yet,keep looking.Don't settle"

its an ok day for me
considering my other days
try gn tips 'how to deal with job that u hate'
I rewards myself for each tasks that I accomplished
I even get to met ajis today
good fren indeed
tp..nk blk bley rase nk nangis jgk
masalah la ko ni hana

dragged along~

early start today.sebab semamngt nk keje!?naaaaah...tidak
2 hari x perlu msk ofis pegi course (bahagia)
i see a trend here
there will be no post on weekend but too many on weekdays
hurm..

the sun came up reality set in

still..ignorance is a bliss
miahahaha

yes..I'm at that time of the month
(justifying why I'm behaving this way...)
constant updating the blog
and..I'm always stuck in meeting(s)
that usually..have nothing to do with my job scope
so..another justification

another day to go before weekend
believe me..I hate myself too when I'm like this

in the mood of nangis T_T

i know what i want

and I do know what I do not want
malam...tlg bertahan lama sikit

people got opinions!man...

if u can give me my current pay to be a housewife
esok jgk aku kawin!

dan lagi
i hate it to d bitssssssss

aku kerja kerana Allah
mohon dilindungi dr yg pelik2
Ameen

I'm proud of my skim
terasa bijak

Its not d job per say
Its d people
I hate it here
to the bits

Its depressing to feel so alone when you have been there
for the people u care about only to be ditched

Its hard to be hurt by the people who mean so much to u

I know what I said,it hurts.but we are all aware that truth hurts..I may not live longer than u do but what I said was the truth and you know it.sometimes u need to listen to others.don't think that since u are older and matured than me, that u know what is the best.because we are only human,we tend to make mistakes even u.so there, I've said it again. Truth huts

a little shine and a loooot of faith

trying to be rasional here.I'm not exactly looking for a perfect job.nobody going to be satisfied with what they have.but I do hope I have a RIGHT one.I choose to stick with what I think is right.I hope after I go thru all this rain..then I will actually get the rainbow.it is as what I expected.its not going to be easy I know.but I sincerely hope its not a disaster.get a grip farhana!!you can avoid reality but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality TT_TT

Point to ponder:don't expect a fool to be respectful

it wont be long

ameen..ameen....ameen
ameen yarabbal'alamin
TT_TT

insaf

finding the right man for marriage
is the second challenge
the first challenge is to be the right woman
that a right man wants to marry

e'body had their own sad story

its not fair to think that my problem are bigger than others
e'oneee is struggling
gudluck!

kalau dunia ni aku yg punya

confirm hura hara
sebab aku mmg akan buat sesuka hati aku
dan aku takkan kenal erti sabar

if only I had enough energy
I want to work at the construction site
no paper work.no hassle.no ofis politics
Allah knows what's the best for me

ps:wahai muka,tlg bantu skit tuan ko ni jgn tnjk expression yg bukan2.kawan kamu si mulut boleh bekerjasama jadi mohon kerjasama dr anda jua

changes

I've always want changes in my life.career wise
In fact I've managed since I've been transfered to other ministry after dpa
The down side,since I want to stay in kl they put me in an agency
And life is not a bed if roses (enough said)
Its ok.I will manage

But the biggest changes in my life on 18th july
Abah is gone.forever
Its a little bit tragic in our side
But I won't complain much
For his sake
I hope he rest in peace
Al fatihah

It is just a fleeting right
Pls..da nk abis ni jgn nk mcm2

please..
please dont mess with my heart
what are u trying to do actually?????

ralat

mcm mane nk mengubat hati
emotionally ill

ya allah sedapnye kalau dpt starbucks mlm2 mcm nih...!

... :'(

my heart skips a beat even at the sight of his name
parah~

macam-macam

so many things
i dont bother to recaps
yg pasti jiwa a little bit kacau

same old..same old

Everything is fall into pieces
sat g aku nangis la ni

I'm missing texting him last at night
Aargh...jgn jd 2nd layer
Kalau die bley buat dgn ko
Dgn org lain pn die bleybuat
same old..same old

buble burst

maybe

tak konsisten

tau..tell me about it

sappy n intimidated

What does it supposed to mean?
Intimidated by me?
Fine.
Ko intimidated aku plak yg sappy
Da agak da.tak belajar2 lg!?

tricky

Its tricky when you don't know what you want, but you know what you don't want.


I'm losing my appetite here.sigh

"when you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right things a chance to catch you"

really?we'll see how it goes

too tired to think.too excited to sleep

is it mutual?

help...

main api

I know he's flirting with me
I don't know how serious he is
I know I do like him
I don't know how serious I am
I know I play along with him
I don't know how long it will last

Same old...same old
Sigh~

1.Aku tak suka org x ikut peraturan.
2.Aku benci org xde common sense.
3.Aku rase aku mmg skema.
4.Jadi aku tak berapa suke org x skema.
5.Maka ramai la yg x suke aku gamaknye.

HEBAT

mcm hebat je kan

1. refleksi modul kenegaraan:kesan kepada diri in 20 pages.
2. ringkasan dokumentari Becoming a King in 10 pages.
3. sub-topic utk slot ceramah in 30 pages (i pick MELAYU SEBAGAI SEBUAH BANGSA - mcm bley buat je aku ni).
4. pengurusan islam vs pengurusan konvensional in 20 pages.

with references from jurnals and books
how to complete research(s) in a short time : discussions and lotsss of luck

updates (again)

1.byk plak masa aku update blog hurm...

2.aku mmg la berniat nk jadi passenger mase course ni.there are certain things that i know i can do (even better kot than them) but i dont bother to move forward since malas kan. so, i lost the rights to condemn them when things are messed up.tp mulut ni kan...x dpt den nak tahan

3.call me skema nerd or whatever.when things are wrong please dont justify things to make it sounds fine.certain things berlakon la wei.tak payah la ckp kat aku yg ko tak pernah berlakon.aku ni dah penat la kena penalty because of someone elses fault

4.penat ye!?oo...penat...bajet aku ni x penat la.

5.nak buat kerja dan boleh buat kerja is two different things.

6.news came out.as consequences, there are possibilities i might come back to old office.good news?bad news?no komen

updates

1. lost 8kg and i hope still counting (down not up)
2. due to kg's loss, apperantly im getting darker (people keep saying tanner to put it in a nice way)
3. much darker since i went back from wataniah. there will be 2nd part in may.so i dont really give a damn
4. jerawat!!!yang ni x bley blah
5. im impress with myself since im considered as one of those yg x byk songeh dlm batch ni. subhanallah, ramai lagi yg byk songeh dr aku.stakat aku ni, sape2 bley handle la.hi3
6. i keep changing my profesion each week. one week i was an accountant, then economist, another week a lawyer, later tibe2 event planner plak. sigh...jane of all trade. i hope at least im master in one of it.
7. patience is a virtue.really.
8. the approach could be different~

so many things so little time

many things that i want to write down actually
there's a big event next week in my family
hope everything goes well

distraction of mine
same person same issue
aku tau aku carik pasal

my life never been this hectic until now
sblm ni i could chanel my feelings here
skrg, yg tu pun belum tentu sempat
mental~