digress

im not having a great morning starter.its not even good.
for some reasons, it became a key somehow and triggered my misery and all the hurts feelings that i buried deep inside my heart...with my ignorance and denial.

no amount of get away or vacations can actually solves my problem(s).its actually distracted me from thinking about it in way too much.but nope.it did not solved

did i have my fair share in my life!?
i cant answer that.not even when im already reached my 26th years of my life.

did i hope more for coming!?
sure...and i hope it would be a great one.

despite my contrary belief, which is to giving up.my small little tiniest faith tells me to keep moving.believe in hope and what not.and i know if am nobody.no religion, no faith etc, i would just take d bullet and put it inside my head.am not trying exaggerate my problem(s) it is simply how i want to show it in a way, literally, if im able just to give up.

but i cant!!
one of the reasons, yes, i am afraid of death. you see, im not a good daughter, not a good fren, not a good staff and most of all am not a good khalifah. therefore,death is just not a good solutions for me.of course i would like someone to pray for me when i died.and im very much hope that it would be my child(s) which is impossible at this moment since im not even married.....yet

its funny how i can be depressed due to something that considered as a small issue.sungguh duniawi aku nih.but i cant help it.its an event that can be prevent if a precaution measure being taken without ignorance.
sigh....im turning into someone that so ignorant that i dont even care about the unfortunate event that happen to haiti, or even the national transformation event that being organize by the Msia government apatah lagi the recent break up of angelina jolie and brad pitt.all these things ive learned tru my car's radio today while i was shaking and crying heavily until an uncle came and knocked my window.

pakcik,
terima kasih kerana memberikan sedikit kasih sayang dan perhatian kepada stranger ini.

so here i am.writing~
the whole purpose of the existence of this blog.
to be written~
not to be read.

no, im not having my PMS.its not during the time yet.it just there are times when i feels the anger with life as a whole.something that out of my control.and even angrier when the things can actually be control by me but as i said, due to my ignorant i just let it slip away and as the consequences, here i am. full with hatred.

lets keep hoping that it will get better (insyaallah)
and i hope the sabah get away will be a great helper too

sighh~